Stars are balls of super hot gas,
If you go ahead and touch it it'll fry your ass,
Today I'm gonna teach ya and today you'll learn:
"If there's no oxygen in space how does the Sun burn?"

That's a good question Jimmy, but let me clarify,
That ain't no fuckin' diamond up in the fuckin' sky,
Stars create light through photon emission
Using nuclear fusion, don't confuse it with fission.

Hyrdrogen combines to make helium,
The core of a star's never at a happy medium,
The helium combines to make something heavy
Like a whale shredding metal (yeah that's heavy)

"But Sirius Sam, why are they so bright?",
That's cause they ejaculate a fuckton of light,
The hotter it is, the bluer it gets,
Hot like me - yeah, I get bitches wet.

The Sun is a star that's local to us,
But not close enough to reach on a bus,
Proxima Centuri is the next nearest star,
But at 4.20 light years, it's still pretty far.

NML Cygni is a really big star,
Don't make fun of its size, that's going too far!
Sirius is the very brightest star,
I'm Sirius, it really is the brightest star.

Alpha Centuri is actually binary,
This line requires some expert rhymery,
Betelguese, the juicy star,
It's not made of juice - I wonder what you are.

That's it, that is all the stars,
There are no more stars,
Goodbye.
Get out of my fucking classroom.